There's this guy at my school who is really, really irritating because he thinks he is a ninja. He thinks he is smart and is very proud whenever he says stuff like "Would you bite the hand that feeds you?"
His facebook page, for example:
Education and Work
Employers
Piano Player
Sep 2009 to present
Establish maximum bandwidth through lossless audio streaming formats, population control, and digital audio interfaces, assimilated through uses of analytically rendered data.
Graphic Designer
Creative Director
Reconstructing everyone and everything through computer-aided design and net frames, piecing together the world so corporate personas can stamp their petty identities on them. Graphical user interfaces, demoralising colour spectrum and field. HB black coloured pencils and GelNite liquid pens on Staples-produced paper, filled in with colours from Crayola crayons and assorted markers. Stamped, filed, copied, printed over a thousand times for the opiated masses to consume like flies to decomposition. You can see why I quit.
Social Engineer
Black Hat
Achieving maximum broadband and connection to all four corners of this earth, through exercise of the jurisidictive muscle and unrelenting propaganda spread through cellular towers and Internet rallies. Phishing out data through diversion theft and IVR automation devices. I was one of those guys building black boxes in his basement while you were out there playing baseball and developing a sense of irony and sarcasm. Expansion is immaculate, untouched by any technology. Festering trojans and worms through the airwaves and into your IP addresses. Data is the only way to go.
Computer Programmer
Quantifying the cosmos around me step by step, binary string by binary string. Organic compounds, quantum tunneling syndrome. A long strand of zero sum and such nonsensical computation, held only together by equally nonsensical elemental particles with such names as quarks, hadrons, leptons and bosons. All absolute crap, if you ask me.
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
-A Midsummer Nights Dream Act 3, scene 2, 110鈥?15
Population control, assimilation. Eighteen thousand million years, with 忙ons in between... being 0000. I won't tell you. I am above god and law and petty morality. I will burn empires with my hands to get my way. I obtain maximum bandwidth through any means.
Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says "But Doctor...I am Pagliacci." Good joke, everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum... Curtains.
Being extraordinarily powerful is not enough to be a god, nor is being the creator of something.
Don't forgot all his languages:
Klingon
Latin
Al-Behd
Nadsat
Newspeak
Oldspeak
Shakspearean English
Babel-17
Bokonon
High Speech
Qwghiliam
English
and German.
It's pathetic! All he did was look up the most obscure languages he could find. The worst part is that everyone in our school thinks he is so cool and they actually believe him. It drives me nuts! He tries way to hard but no one else notices it. How can I stop at least my friends from praising him???|||Wow.. you're going through a lot of effort for no reason. So what if people think he's cool? Why does it matter to you? ignore him if you have a problem. If everybody else likes him, he's obviously doing something right. So he's dramatic and likes the flare? so what? leave him be. He's found what makes him happy, so drop it and find what makes you happy.|||Would you rather him be depressed or boring like everyone else? Jesus, let him be himself.
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